tm 404

Fuck

Five hours to go w/ nada to do.

I deleted Twitter + FediLab from this phone and seeing as i only have 2G speeds on my data plan, I will not be getting them back for a while. Better off. Would rather just blog.

I wrote a short diatribe against the Internet (as in, the service) a bit ago on an anonymous blog post here on Write.as and it felt good to get that piece off my chest.

I need a soda. Haha.

I woke up in a bad mood about an hour ago because my right nostril was stuffed up from....who knows whatthefuck, and it put me in a bad mood to start the day. But me and my nostril are doing much better now.

The song remains the same as far as wanting to go somewhere, do something and i am going to therapy today (thank Fuck) and i am doing laundry today (at the 'rents) and i am going to get that soda on the way to the 'rents, so at least today i will not be quite as bored as i usually am.

But longterm, i need to go somewhere, do something. Whenthe lease is up at this apartment, i am going to try to move somewhere where there is more activity. Perhaps across the street from S County Mall or some shit? There are a few apartment complexes around that area. It would be a lot more amusing and i could walk in the Mall in the mornings like some old fucker. Exercise is always a good thing.

i'm burned out, i know that.

Loneliness

Everyone experiences it. When you are a single person living at home by yourself, you (I) experience it more often than an average person living with a spouse or family. One of my outlets to combat loneliness is the Internet, because then at least me and the citizens of the WWW can be “alone together” as they say.

But i need more human interaction. More socialization. Building up these skills is a crucial part of surviving on Earth, i believe. I have talked on ths blog before about how I want to take a trip, go on an adventure, meet new people, experience new things.

I am hesitant to set off on some epic, wild adventure like section-hiking the AT (though I have wanted to do that for a long time) because I hear there can be a lot of loneliness on the trail, too. You meet a lot of great people along the way, but on average, loneliness. So i see a lot of people going to Bali and live in the cheap and try to build digital projects and make some some of living off of their projects. I have some ideas in mind that could help me do this, and getting the gear together to build one such project would not be very hard, but i am not sure if I want to go to Bali for 6+ months because the whole thing sounds like a pain to get to/from places, currency exchange, work visa, on and on. I love any and all things “nomadic” but international nomadism sounds like a total hassle more than anything else and i am surprised why anyone would like it.

But i need to go where there are more people. I know i am buying the bike soon (Panama Jack Cruiser) and then i will be able to make the trek down to Cliff Cave Park and probably meet some people down there, all while getting proper exercise. This is the most logical solution.

Here's to the lonely folks.

Remarking on Remark.as

It is a new feature that (is coming to?) is on write.as and it is more or less a commenting feature and i am going to enable it for this blog. Feedback is good. Federated feedback is better.

So i haven't updated this blog since yesterday (i don't think) because i have been #blogging on the anonymous version of write.as (to be more specific, on the write.as app, because it is faster than in the Firefox Focus browser over 2G). So, some updates:

  • locked down my Twitter acct so only people following can see my Tweets

  • wrote / discussed / debated (w/ myself) about whether or not to buy a Chromebook (which will more than likely happen) and an LTE hotspot for my apartment so i can transition over to a dumb/feature phone. I view this is a necessary thing because i never use my smartphone in public, anyway (or for that matter around people) and i feel having a delegated place to use the WWW here at my apartment via Chromebook (w/ Linux of course) on an LTE hotspot would make my life...easier in a way.

So this is what i will do.

in the meantime; if there is a remark.as beta, I will be joining. Good times.

Using The IdeaBook

I ordered two of them. They ar simple journals that have nothing but lines to write on. No frills. Minimal as fuck. I love em. Been jotting down a note here and there, or sort of mini-journal entries, and i like it. Some things i do not share on the Internet and i like to keep to myself. 100% transparency is always a lie.

Anyway, i made some coffee just now and i plan on being up late as fuck, and i am thinking about what i have planned this week. No “appointments” to speak of, but still plenty to do. Without the Internet (or fast Internet), i will probably have a lot more free time. This is usually occupied by puffing a tobacco pipe, or writing, but it will only be the latter for now, because i am in between tobacco pipes. Very, unhealthy, of course, but very enjoyable.

I do have some books i want to checkout from SLCL, but i owe them $$$ because of two books that still have not been returned yet. I should just return those and start reading the Ethics textbook I have (philosophy). I also have to fill some people in with the fact that I have dropped my college courses (one of which being philosophy) this semester because the more i think about attending STLCC (or any college) the more demotivated i get about the long, arduous slug that it will be to complete two years of community college. Even if it were free, I doubt i would still pursue it, because it is such a time-suck. I admire those who have the patience and motivation to do so, but i never had a lot of encouragement to pursue college to begin with (i am the first in my family who has attended), so when the motivation runs out, or I need something to inspire me, it isn't there. And that is not sustainable.

I do like getting short-term, quick-and-dirty certifications, though. I have one from SLCL in Research Writing (Research Methods For Writers, is what it is called), and i enjoyed that immensely. So, i have thought about pursuing an EdX cert, or even getting the compTIA cert. The latter is something that could actually be of value in the real world. That's one of the things that made the cert from Job Corps so much fun – the real world applicability of it. So compTIA is something to think about while i simultaneously do the “404 Darkly” e-zine (which is just a side-hobby for fun).

But

I will definitely need a damn friggin laptop to do the cert. I need a laptop to do a lot of things I want to do in life, actually. Kind of hard to not live with a computer of some kind in 2019. I think the #mobile-only crowd could / should just be for “old timers” and not someone who is damn near a digital native sch as myself. I am 35 and i am a writer and someone who spends almost all of their time online. I should damn well have a laptop! LOL!

I will consider this

2G Speeds. Or In Other Words, May As Well Be Offline

i lowered the tier on my phone plan this month in an attempt to balance my budget at the last second (lowered to 5 gigs for LTE speeds) and i have done this many times before and never regretted it. I do so not just to save money but because it more or less forces me to not use the Internet as much for superfluous reasons (mindless YouTube videos, compulsive Web browser queries, etc). In fact, this is usually the speed I have on my phone when i am more or less going “offline” for a month. I have done that many times in the past three years, as well (though, not in a while). I will not just try to keep my Internet usage to simply #writing and shitposting on Twitter / Mastodon, but i will keep my Internet usage to simply writing and shitposting on Twitter / Mastodon! :P

And as for tonight, well, i slept all day because, idk why, so i will be up late as fuck and making tons of coffee. Spotify doesn't come through real clear on 2G, so i will revert back to my playlist i made for offline music (which i downloaded some time ago).

Anyway, time for coffee.

The Other F Word

...is a very good documentary. If you haven't seen it before, it is about a lot of the classic punk rockers from the 70s, 80s, and beyond becoming fathers and how they balance a music / tour / punk-rock-ethos sort of life with fatherhood. Great stuff.

On a related note: i could never be, would never want to be a dad. I have nothng against kids, but i was being very real with myself when i adopted a dog and told myself “this is training wheels to see if I would want to have a kid. If dog ownership goes well, i may actually be responsible enough to have a kid.” And having Riverdog basically was like Murphy's Law since the first week I had him. I then gave him up four years later. I just did not like being a dog owner, and though i know i would never be a deadbeat dad, having a kid would truly drive me insane / kill me from stress. It's great to inspire people who feel they wouldn't be the best parents to give them confidence that they could be good parents, but when you are someone like me, and know in my heart of hearts that i authentically choose not to be a parent, best bet is to not pursue trying to have a kid or talk that person into it. Maybe that is why i don't date very often? lol

So that was a pretty cathardic little blog post, probably because i haven't had a therapy appt in a while and my therapist of course helps me talk through these issues and i tend to pour my heart into my blog posts when i haven't had therapy in a while. Sometimes i blog candidly even on days I do have therapy, but, yeah.

I do like punk rock a lot though. I will say that.

Changing Up A Bit

As mentioned in a prev blog post, i cannot properly go off a Web browser and still be a productive citizen of the Internet, so i went back to Firefox Focus, and it is definitely my favorite browser.

I also re-downloaded the #FDroid apk and installed TwitLatte for my Twitter acct (bc addiction) bc i would like to experience that service ad-free. I am really resenting the fact that i use the services of such an evil company so much. Really trying to only use Mastodon (via FediLab) these days.

I also saw a thing on reddit about a service called “FreeTube” that blocks any and all ads from YouTube, but i am already using NewPipe for that and i enjoy it a lot. Great interface. There are other out there, but i like NewPipe.

I also poked around the Internet to see if there was a Lineage OS release for the Moto G6 Forge (budget G6), and there doesn't seem to be one, or at least not a stable version. I know that this is by far my favorite phone i have owned since the One+1 years ago, and i really like it. It basically has everything that i want in a smartphone including good battery, which was a huge issue for my last phone.

At the end of the day, I can see myself buying a BlackBerry Key2 LE, but i really don't want to until it drops well below $300. I just hate what companies ask you to pay for a smartphone these days. Almost becoming the norm, which is why so many people are getting Chromebooks and booting Linux and ditching smartphones altogether (as i would like to).

Perhaps not this month, but maybe this Summer I can opt for the home LTE service and go w/ a dumb / feature phone and Chromebook setup instead of the phone / Bluetooth keyboard setup i have now? I mean this is the most efficient (in terms of small / portable devices) and in terms of bills, but...idk. I just know that i am going to treat myself the next time i get paid and buy a (very GOOD) tobacco pipe (Stanwell 98) and a few tins of high-end tobaccy. That is basically all i am treating myself to, so, FUN!

Anyway, that's all for now.

Black Metal, Black Coffee, Good Times

I just got done listening to a little bit of Windir and having black coffee and i am feelin' pretty good. And somehow my mind drifted over to some Instagram accts w/ tattoos on them (it's where you will find the best/latest work, honestly) even though i do not have an Insta acct, and i looked at some of the best work from the past week, and whattya know? I wanna get tattooed again. But i refuse to do so because i hate the atmosphere of shops. If someone (talented) was willing to come to my apartment with their gear and i could pay them handsomely to do so, i would get more ink. But i sincerely doubt that will ever happen so i will just have to be happy with the tattoos i have (which amounts to about 10 tattoo (2 of them are rather large)). And the more i think about it, the more i think i will be some sunburned bum in old age and have these few, straggling, black and grey tattoos on these random parts of my arms and they will be weathered to shit from too much outdoors time and i will look tough as a coffin nail and everyone will be like; “you know TM? Yea that grey-haired sumbitch that rides his cruiser bike up and down the beach with the tattoos. That rotten sonofabitch!” and i can be a mini-legend. LMAO!

Seriously though, no more tattoos

THat's all i gotta say

So Much For No Browsers

Very difficult to live a moderately functional existence on the WWW w/o a Web browser. I got a browser and now i can at least blog on this blog again (before it was write.as anonymous posts).

So, that was a bust. But i am glad i tried it for 48 hours.

What now?

Well, for today nothing. It is icy as fuck outside and i am inside w/ nothing to do and i am just...chillin'.

As far as tech-related stuff, i have nothing to say.

lol, that's all for now

Re-investing In Dapper-ness

Lol. I do like to look dapper sometimes, though.

Ok, seriously, I am buying a new safety razor (w/ featherlight blades) because i like the classic look of the handles from ClassicShaving.com (i think it is called), and they have all kinds of apothecary gear, as well to boot! I am getting a synthetic shaving foam brush, some nice foam/gel (even though i have tons of the stuff) and of course all the other good stuffs.

Also, too, by the way (and this is quite unhealthy) I am buying the brushed black Stanwell 98 straight poker (tobacco pipe) + a couple different types of tobaccy (War Horse Red Bar + Dunhill Classic English) because i did enjoy having a tobacco pipe when i had one (less than a month ago). I just need to remember to stay stocked on the back-up #ecig juice, as well (which i have a hell of a lot of). So, that will be fun.

And to top off the dapper tapper wagon, I am going to get a frreshhhh haircut ASAP. Perhaps tomorrow. This shag has got to go and I am doing the military fade that I have been doing since post-BCT '04. I love the short, tight hairdo's and i am overdue for one.

That concludes my rant of uber-manliness and i hope i didn't offend anyone. If I did, fuck you anyways. LMAO!

That's all for now